怪女孩‧蛻變中

親愛的媽咪　這是獻給你低　＞／／／／＜

能想像把媽咪一天２４小時內對孩子說的話　整合在兩分五十五秒裡說完嗎？
Momsense 就是這樣的作品（有人稱為 The Mom Song）
曲是大家耳熟能詳的威廉泰爾序曲（William Tell: Overture）
詞則是由脫口秀藝人 Anita Renfroe 所寫（她是三個孩子的媽媽）

只有兩字能形容　－　超絕！！

第一次演出的影片（下面有後面唱的版本　唱的比較好 & 中文字幕版）

歌詞（媽咪的一天　從早到晚！）：

Get up now　Get up now　Get up out of bed
　　起床　起床　快起床
Wash your face　Brush your teeth
　　快去刷牙洗臉
Comb your sleepy head
　　別忘了梳頭
Here's your clothes
　　衣服在這
And your shoes
　　還有鞋子
Hear the words I said
　　聽到我說的話了沒

Get up now
　　還在賴
Get up and make your bed
　　快起來　順便把床舖好
Are you hot?　Are you cold?
　　會不會熱？　還是會冷？
Are you wearing that?
　　你要穿這樣出門喔？
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
　　你書包咧　便當跟功課別忘了帶
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
　　外套手套帽子圍巾拿好
Don't forget you got to feed the cat
　　記得餵貓

Eat your breakfast
　　快吃你的早餐
The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
　　專家說這是一天最重要的一餐
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
　　把維他命吃了　才會長的高又壯
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
　　別忘記今天三點要看牙齒
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon　So you must play
　　下午有鋼琴課　別忘了練習

Don't shovel
　　別吃那麼大口
Chew slowly
　　慢慢咬
But hurry
　　不過吃快一點
The bus is here
　　校車已經來了
Be careful
　　在學校小心點
Come back here
　　回來
Did you wash behind your ears?
　　你洗臉有沒有洗耳朵後面

Play outside
　　要玩去外面玩
Don't play rough
　　別那麼粗魯
Would you just play fair?
　　我拜託你別欺負人
Be polite
　　有禮貌一點
Make a friend
　　去認識些朋友呀
Don't forget to share
　　東西要分一些給人家

Work it out
　　兩個自己去講好
Wait your turn
　　要排隊呀
Never take a dare
　　危險的東西不要亂玩
Get along
　　兩個別吵架
Don't make me come down there
　　別讓我過去扁你們

Clean your room
　　整理整理你的房間
Fold your clothes
　　衣服去折好
Put your stuff away
　　東西收好
Make your bed
　　床去舖一舖
Do it now
　　現在就去
Do we have all day?
　　你是要拖到什麼時候？
Were you born in a barn?　Would you like some hay
　　你這裡亂成這樣　是豬窩喔？

Can you even hear a word I say?
　　是有沒有在聽我說話呀
Answer the phone
　　快接電話
Get Off the phone
　　不要一直聊電話
Don't sit so close
　　坐離電視遠一點
Turn it down
　　音量轉小聲一點
No texting at the table
　　吃飯不要傳簡訊
No more computer time tonight
　　今晚不準你玩電腦
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
　　再不聽　就把你 ipod 沒收

Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
　　你要去哪？　跟誰去？　幾點回家？
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
　　要說請、謝謝、對不起
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
　　有禮貌才會受歡迎
You'll appreciate my wisdom　Someday when you're older and you're grown　
　　等你長大之後　你會感激我管你
Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own
　　等你有小孩　就知道做媽媽的感覺了
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
　　你會謝謝我肯管你
But right now　I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
　　不過　現在我只希望你別擺臉色給我看

Close your mouth when you chew
　　吃東西嘴巴閉上
Would appreciate　Take a bite　Maybe two　Of the stuff you hate
　　拜託你不喜歡的菜也多少吃一點
Use your fork
　　別用手拿
Do not you burp　Or I'll set you straight
　　打嗝去旁邊　逼我打你喔
Eat the food I put upon your plate
　　幫你添的都要吃完

Get an A,
　　考高分
Get the door
　　去開門
Don't get smart with me
　　別耍小聰明
Get a Grip
　　控制一下你自己
Get in here I'll count to 3
　　在我數到三以前過來
Get a job
　　去找工作
Get a life
　　別整天賴在家裡
Get a PhD
　　去讀個博士
Get a dose of...　
　　去拿點．．．

I don't care who started it　You're grounded until your 36
　　我不在乎誰先開始的　你們兩個都被禁足了　直到３６歲
Get your story straight　And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake
　　說清楚到底是怎樣　看在老天的份上　別再說謊了
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff　Would you jump too?
　　難道你朋友去跳懸崖　你也一起跳？

If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that
　　都跟你說了幾百次了
You're too old to act this way
　　你已經長大了　不能再這樣
It must be your father's DNA
　　一定是像到你老爸
Look at me when I am talking
　　我在跟你說話的時候　看著我
Stand up straight when you walk
　　站好　走路別彎腰駝背
A place for everything　And everything must be in place
　　東西都擺好位置　別亂扔
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
　　別哭了　否則我就讓你哭更大聲
Oh! 　哼！

Brush your teeth　Wash your face
　　去刷牙洗臉
Get your PJs on
　　準備睡覺了
Get in bed
　　快去睡
Get a hug
　　抱一個
Say a prayer with Mom
　　跟馬麻一起禱告
Don't forget　I love you　**KISS**
　　別忘了　我愛你　（親一下）
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
　　明天我還是會再重頭嘮叨一次　因為媽媽的操心沒有停的一天

You don't need the reason why
　　你不需要知道為什麼
Because　Because　 Because　Because
　　因為　因為　因為　因為
I said so　I said so　I said so　I said so
　　我說了算　我說了算　我說了算　我說了算
I'm the Mom　The mom　The mom　The mom　The mom
　　我是你媽　你媽　你媽　你媽
Ta-da

被人轉貼到 Youtube　受到超熱烈的回應
當然其中也有抱怨〝有了媽咪歌　怎麼能沒有爹地歌〞的男士們
所以　爸爸版（Dadsense）〞就出現嚕（最下面有中文字幕的版本）

哈哈　我覺得爸爸版超級幽默的　簡潔有力

因為超級受歡迎　除了各種翻譯字幕之外　還出了手語版
而 Anita Renfroe 也真的如她所說的　唱了更精采的版本
特別為台灣的媽咪服務　配上中文字幕的版本

爸爸中文字幕版